Go to here: www.pbs.org
Watch it and tell me you don't agree.
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Monday, January 16, 2012
Parenting Advice 2012
I told my son that if he didn't stay in bed I would take his new Professor toy away from him for the night.
When he got out of bed I took the toy and said, "now you know you can trust me, good or bad".
He didn't see it that way.
I do what I say, he should too. Right?
This is what I want to know, how many of us parents snuggle with our children who have been put to bed numerous times because in the back of our minds we are considering the fast approaching time when our children will not want us?
I took the Professor toy, but stayed for snuggling. I told my son about my Dad and his snoring and that every night I found it difficult to sleep because his snores rattled our windows.
Sleep apnea isn't funny, but snoring is, especially to a 5 year old.
When he got out of bed I took the toy and said, "now you know you can trust me, good or bad".
He didn't see it that way.
I do what I say, he should too. Right?
This is what I want to know, how many of us parents snuggle with our children who have been put to bed numerous times because in the back of our minds we are considering the fast approaching time when our children will not want us?
I took the Professor toy, but stayed for snuggling. I told my son about my Dad and his snoring and that every night I found it difficult to sleep because his snores rattled our windows.
Sleep apnea isn't funny, but snoring is, especially to a 5 year old.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
I DO NOT want a hippopotamus
Jared
We agreed to spend little on each other this year because we sort of bought a car and our first payment is due at Christmas and we sort of were audited by the IRS again for whatever you and TurboTax did wrong in 2008 and you decided to go ahead and mail the check the 2nd week of December so now it will clear soon and so we decided not to spend lots on each other for Christmas.
So here is what I want:
We agreed to spend little on each other this year because we sort of bought a car and our first payment is due at Christmas and we sort of were audited by the IRS again for whatever you and TurboTax did wrong in 2008 and you decided to go ahead and mail the check the 2nd week of December so now it will clear soon and so we decided not to spend lots on each other for Christmas.
So here is what I want:
- The Help on DVD - go to Costco
- Jane Eyre - the new one on DVD
- A gift card to Dillards and carte blanche on Boxing Day
- A gift card to ModCloth.com, it's dot com!
- A 2-page (or longer) letter detailing why I'm the best girl and you're glad you found me (I lived a quarter mile away) and the nice things you must be thinking about me on a daily basis but are too busy watching sporting events to remember to tell me. - I would enjoy this gift more than the others listed, and bonus, it's free.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Dear Paul Simon
Dear Paul Simon,
For years I thought that you were saying "Mama don't take my chloroform away". I realize now that it was Kodachrome.
I'm sorry.
I'm just glad I caught this before my mother in law corrected me. That would have ruined the song forever.
Yours,
Sarah H.
P.S. could you write a song about a girl named Sarah?
For years I thought that you were saying "Mama don't take my chloroform away". I realize now that it was Kodachrome.
I'm sorry.
I'm just glad I caught this before my mother in law corrected me. That would have ruined the song forever.
Yours,
Sarah H.
P.S. could you write a song about a girl named Sarah?
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Gracias
It is Thanksgiving time and therefore time to post about all the things I am thankful for.
Let's get the big important ones out of the way. I am thankful that I have my two kids. Yesterday Evan asked me for sunflower seeds. After eating the few spoonfulls I gave him he requested more. I poured out a little more and began to walk away. He stopped me and said "oh oh can I have a little more"?
"You want more", I asked.
"Yeah, it's free right", he replied.
I had to actually put a hand down on the kitchen table to hold myself up while the rest of my body rocked with laughter. So what could I do? I gave him more. And he ended things with "now we're getting there".
EVAN I LOVE YOU!
I am so thankful for my Maddie girl. She is the daughter I never even thought to ask for. She is so smart. She is SO TUFF. Seriously she doesn't take any lip from anyone, least of all me. She happens to look like her handsome Dad and his pretty sisters and is therefore beautiful. She's been saying things like "Daddy you're back" when Jared gets back in the car from pumping gas.
She sings Adele and Fleet Foxes and Blur at the top of her lungs. It sounds like this:
"Coulda had it awwwwll, rollin in a deeeeeeep" and "Manalin Jane wassed in the wain NOOOOOOOOO Longer" and "oh my baby, oh baby, oh baby, come on, come on, come on". I realize that last one sounds creepy but it isn't creepy in real time, it's cute.
I am thankful for my husband. He is perfect for me. The other day I said, "oh hey I have a joke to tell you" and before I could tell it he said, "I'll be the judge of that". He makes me laugh and he is cute.
I am thankful for my parents because they took me to church and taught me about Christ and his atonement. I am thankful for my family for being in my corner.
I am so thankful for my friends, music, books, TELEVISION, my job. The list goes on and it is getting late. Thank you for reading. Go and eat as much as you want for Thanksgiving.
Let's get the big important ones out of the way. I am thankful that I have my two kids. Yesterday Evan asked me for sunflower seeds. After eating the few spoonfulls I gave him he requested more. I poured out a little more and began to walk away. He stopped me and said "oh oh can I have a little more"?
"You want more", I asked.
"Yeah, it's free right", he replied.
I had to actually put a hand down on the kitchen table to hold myself up while the rest of my body rocked with laughter. So what could I do? I gave him more. And he ended things with "now we're getting there".
EVAN I LOVE YOU!
I am so thankful for my Maddie girl. She is the daughter I never even thought to ask for. She is so smart. She is SO TUFF. Seriously she doesn't take any lip from anyone, least of all me. She happens to look like her handsome Dad and his pretty sisters and is therefore beautiful. She's been saying things like "Daddy you're back" when Jared gets back in the car from pumping gas.
She sings Adele and Fleet Foxes and Blur at the top of her lungs. It sounds like this:
"Coulda had it awwwwll, rollin in a deeeeeeep" and "Manalin Jane wassed in the wain NOOOOOOOOO Longer" and "oh my baby, oh baby, oh baby, come on, come on, come on". I realize that last one sounds creepy but it isn't creepy in real time, it's cute.
I am thankful for my husband. He is perfect for me. The other day I said, "oh hey I have a joke to tell you" and before I could tell it he said, "I'll be the judge of that". He makes me laugh and he is cute.
I am thankful for my parents because they took me to church and taught me about Christ and his atonement. I am thankful for my family for being in my corner.
I am so thankful for my friends, music, books, TELEVISION, my job. The list goes on and it is getting late. Thank you for reading. Go and eat as much as you want for Thanksgiving.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Beamer Bummer
Dear Blue Car,
I've been calling you "the blue car" for years so I don't sound snooty. You are a BMW and you and I are over. Did you notice me packing up the contents I left in your trunk and glove compartment this morning? That was me telling you "it's over". It was strange going through all of that memorabilia. I found a random piece of note paper that said only "Spagett" in my handwriting. I thought that was weird. I cursed the 6-disc CD changer located in the trunk and how stupid and outdated that feature is now. The thing is, you are sort of like having a bad boyfriend who is a user and an abuser. We bought you before we had kids before we realized a family car should be first of all roomy, secondly littered with deep and secure cup holders (Bill Byrson be damned), and third reliable.
You are none of the above.
I hate you.
Yesterday while driving to work some small part of you (resembling a print cartridge) melted and sent the toxic smoke of a chemical burn into my lungs, hair, clothes and car seats. Not to mention the smoke filled the inside of the car completely and made it impossible to see. It would have been nice to have be able to roll down a window at a time like that, you know, driving while blinded with white smoke, but unfortunately all of your cussing windows are broken. I settled on opening the sun roof, knowing that it would take myself and my husband working together as a team to close the sun roof again. My co-workers told me they could smell it when I walked in the office.
I thought about a pivotal part of the movie Bridesmaids while I was clearing out my gear, it was the part when Annie says she "rather die out here then spend another 30 minutes with you" to whatever Jon Hamm's character was named. Just like Annie, I think I'd rather walk and just like Jon, there's no way you'd last 30 minutes. Oh and in case you are confused by this reference Blue Car, Bridesmaids is a movie, I got the DVD for my birthday, but then again you wouldn't know what a DVD is would you, you have a stupid wood panel that hides the cassette tape deck. Ugh, you are the worst.
I've been calling you "the blue car" for years so I don't sound snooty. You are a BMW and you and I are over. Did you notice me packing up the contents I left in your trunk and glove compartment this morning? That was me telling you "it's over". It was strange going through all of that memorabilia. I found a random piece of note paper that said only "Spagett" in my handwriting. I thought that was weird. I cursed the 6-disc CD changer located in the trunk and how stupid and outdated that feature is now. The thing is, you are sort of like having a bad boyfriend who is a user and an abuser. We bought you before we had kids before we realized a family car should be first of all roomy, secondly littered with deep and secure cup holders (Bill Byrson be damned), and third reliable.
You are none of the above.
I hate you.
Yesterday while driving to work some small part of you (resembling a print cartridge) melted and sent the toxic smoke of a chemical burn into my lungs, hair, clothes and car seats. Not to mention the smoke filled the inside of the car completely and made it impossible to see. It would have been nice to have be able to roll down a window at a time like that, you know, driving while blinded with white smoke, but unfortunately all of your cussing windows are broken. I settled on opening the sun roof, knowing that it would take myself and my husband working together as a team to close the sun roof again. My co-workers told me they could smell it when I walked in the office.
I thought about a pivotal part of the movie Bridesmaids while I was clearing out my gear, it was the part when Annie says she "rather die out here then spend another 30 minutes with you" to whatever Jon Hamm's character was named. Just like Annie, I think I'd rather walk and just like Jon, there's no way you'd last 30 minutes. Oh and in case you are confused by this reference Blue Car, Bridesmaids is a movie, I got the DVD for my birthday, but then again you wouldn't know what a DVD is would you, you have a stupid wood panel that hides the cassette tape deck. Ugh, you are the worst.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Born This Weigh(t)
I heard a joke once. It went something like this:
"Our obsession with weight really begins at birth. I mean think about it. They plop you on the scale the second you are born. It's like 'five pounds, eleven ounces! oh, no, no, no, wipe some of that goop off me and try again'".
That was the joke. I think I was twelve when I heard it. I love that joke.
From what my mom tells me about my birth story I know there was some trouble. I was 3 weeks early. My body temp was low. I didn't want to eat.
I think what probably happened was that I overheard my mom tell the nurses she would be taking me home to a single wide with five other kids and I thought "oh, uh, oh, you know what, I think I'll just, uh maybe go ahead and stay here and you know, die".
That was not as funny as the first joke. But I love that joke too.
I didn't die, obviously. I live in Gilbert so ..... I think we got that body temp thing fixed. I eat.
Today I am going to start eating crazy healthy. I am going to take Dr. Joel Furhman's 6-week challenge. From his book Eat To Live. It may require the purchase of a VitaMix blender.
"Our obsession with weight really begins at birth. I mean think about it. They plop you on the scale the second you are born. It's like 'five pounds, eleven ounces! oh, no, no, no, wipe some of that goop off me and try again'".
That was the joke. I think I was twelve when I heard it. I love that joke.
From what my mom tells me about my birth story I know there was some trouble. I was 3 weeks early. My body temp was low. I didn't want to eat.
I think what probably happened was that I overheard my mom tell the nurses she would be taking me home to a single wide with five other kids and I thought "oh, uh, oh, you know what, I think I'll just, uh maybe go ahead and stay here and you know, die".
That was not as funny as the first joke. But I love that joke too.
I didn't die, obviously. I live in Gilbert so ..... I think we got that body temp thing fixed. I eat.
Today I am going to start eating crazy healthy. I am going to take Dr. Joel Furhman's 6-week challenge. From his book Eat To Live. It may require the purchase of a VitaMix blender.
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