When I had a full-time job I had a schedule.
I knew I had to be out of the house within a 5 minute window. I knew if I didn't get out of the house during that 5 minute window I would miss my bus. I knew where to park so the bus driver would see me running and would be compelled to stop and open his doors in case I missed the 5 minute window. I knew when the next bus left in case that still didn't work or if I got stopped at the stupid red light by Target. I knew where to drive to to get another bus as a last resort. I knew if the bus was stuck in traffic, my boss was 15 minutes behind that traffic and not in the carpool lane.
I knew if I had a meeting that day. I knew if the meeting was face to face or on the phone. I knew if I had what I liked to call "a speaking part" in the phone meetings. I knew how to give myself a clever thing to say even if I didn't have a speaking part in the face to face meetings.
I always had a shower and a hairdo by 6:30 in the morning. Sometimes the make-up was applied on the bus. Other times at my desk while my computer fired up.
I always had a cold drink by 9 AM. I always had a lunch break. I had deadlines. I met my deadlines. I had calendars. I had reminders. I had a paycheck. I had lots of places to eat lunch. I learned to hate eating at Subway. I learned which sidewalks had more homeless people than other ones. I learned which of the people to avoid sitting next to on the bus.
If I were in the elevator with more than one stranger I tried to say something funny. I tried to act like it wasn't a big deal, but I was happy when I made people laugh. If you make a joke about being married, being a parent, or something sarcastic about work, the people stuck in an elevator with you will laugh. They have no choice.
At about 2 PM everyday I started to look forward to seeing my kids. I remember being greeted at the door with "Mommy you're home, I'm so glad to see you".
This job of staying at home with the kids is very different. The most clever thing I've said lately was "stop bonking her or I'm going to flick you". By my own standards I haven't been exceeding or meeting expectations. I am wondering if I should try just for a bit treating this like a job or a business. I'm not sure how though, but I do know that the dress code will be casual. And I might let my kids wear Hawaiian shirts on Fridays.
3 sign your pity:
You know why Working works for people? Because, at the end of the day, you're like, "And that's another $90 in my pocket." No matter how much it sucks to stay on schedule, you know you're getting paid to do it. And possibly getting fired if you don't.
So I'm adding something to your brilliant idea: Pay Yourself. If you followed your schedule that day, and got twenty minutes of organized activity with E, and ten minutes of reading to M, and the laundry is put away, Pay Yourself with an hour of something you enjoy doing.
Or just ask Jared to threaten to divorce you if the dishes aren't done.
Whatever works.
(P.S. I consider you a fellow employee (different company/same market) and you make me laugh on a daily basis, elevator or not)
I can testify that you are the master of the elevator one liner. Seriously, you should teach classes.
I hate this too! I mean, I love sleeping until 8, but hate that I don't shower until 9 and then not going anywhere before 11. But at the same time, I get to see Harry sit up on his own and Keane tell me that the purple stapler is me and the black stapler is Daddy. And I still think you are f-ing hilarious. F-ing.
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