After The Savory Truffle

I tried eating vegetarian this week. But since cows are not made of sugar I haven't lost any weight.

If you ask my husband, he will tell you I am not a vegetarian. He and I have been arguing that if you eat fish you are not a vegetarian. I say you are. He says "really because I've always thought that fish was considered meat". He says it with that tone and that look of "did I ever tell you about how I won the spelling bee in 5th grade, beating out all the sixth graders". He did. He has. And he accepted his prize of a thesaurus by taking it from the hands of the principle and saying "thesaurus t-h-e-s..." So you can imagine how mad I get when he uses that look/tone with me.

Turns out I haven't been a vegetarian all week, I've been a Pescetarian.

PESCETARIAN: (noun) A vegetarian who eats fish, in spanish. A person Jared Hendrickson considers not to be vegetarian at all. A person most vegans and lacto-ovo vegetarians don't consider to be vegetarian either. See also, omnivore or normie.

I wanted to share a few of my experiences as such in english.

First, these are the kinds of passages vegans/vegetarians pen that make most omnivores worry that they are not cut from the same cloth.

"Three days later, he and Christopher were racing canoes down the Amazon, stark naked and paddling furiously, with me and Laura behind them, laughing. Vegan friends are the best." -- Alicia Silverstone, The Kind Diet

"Don't forget that cooking with quinoa at least once a week will elevate you to level 7 vegan in no time." - Isa Moskowitz, An American Tale, just kidding it was Veganomicon

Secondly, these are the things I like about vegetarian dishes:

1. You don't have to remember to defrost the chicken to have dinner.
2. You don't have to worry about the place on the counter that the chicken touched while it was thawing.
3. You won't swear when you realize the bag you froze the chicken in sprung a leak and now pink juice is all over the top shelf of your fridge as well as down the sides and on the milk.
4. You can be sort of confident that you are eating healthy.
5. It is cheap.

Third I not positive I am going to be pesky forever, but so far I like it. Almost as much as I like sugar. I want to say more, but my daughter of 17-months is ready to kill me for ignoring her so much and she has already empty the lower shelves in the office of all their contents to get my attention. If I don't stop typing now I can expect her to aspire to that of a reality show star who dates juiceheads because mom never cared.