Whenever I find my thoughts are occupied envying the lives, talents, looks, careers of others I like to remember a passage from C.S. Lewis found in The Screwtape Letters.
"Fix in his mind the idea that humility consists in trying to believe those talents to be less valuable than he believes...The great thing is to make him value an opinion for some quality other than truth, thus introducing and element of dishonesty and make-believe into the heart of what otherwise threatens to become a virtue. By this method thousands of humans have been brought to think that humility means pretty women trying to believe they are ugly and clever men trying to believe they are fools. And since what they are trying to believe may, in some cases, be manifest nonsense, they cannot succeed in believing it and we have the chance of keeping their minds endlessly revolving on themselves in an effort to achieve the impossible. To anticipate the Enemy's (God's) strategy, we must consider His aims. The Enemy wants to bring the man to a state of mind in which he could design the best cathedral in the world, and know it to be the best, and rejoice in the fact, without being any more (or less) or otherwise glad at having done it than he would be if it had been done by another. The Enemy wants him, in the end, to be so free from any bias in his own favour that he can rejoice in his own talents as frankly and gratefully as in his neighbour's talents - or in a sunrise, an elephant, or a waterfall. He wants each man, in the long run, to be able to recognise all creatures (even himself) as glorious and excellent things.....His long-term policy, I fear, to restore to them a new kind of self-love - a charity and gratitude for all selves, including their own; when they have really learned to love their neighbours as themselves, they will be allowed to love themselves as their neighbours."
I looked at a few blogs and websites tonight that inspired envious thoughts. "She's prettier than me", "Her outfit is more pulled together than mine will ever be", "She's a better writer than I am".
I like to think that every time I rejoice in the talents, looks, fortune, personality, and situation of others, I am that much closer to the "new kind of self-love" that God wants me to have. So girl from I Believe in Unicorns, I like your hair and your skirt. Girl from Atlantic-Pacific, I like your style and I am so happy you've got the fashion budget to showcase the talent you possess.
7 sign your pity:
I'm the better writer, right?
(That was a joke.)
Yes you are.
I love C.S. Lewis. What a fantastic quote.
I was having a conversation with a friend about this just a few days ago. It's okay to shine. It's okay to suck. It's not the point, really.
There are totally blog-people who I envy too. I'm working on it. Mostly by just not reading their blogs. Looks like you've given me two more to avoid there, so thanks for that.
here you go...this is naughty to tear down to feel better...but the fashion blogs. I realized that I am NOT fashionable...and then I want you to realize that you are too busy raising two beauties that you are raising to go and take daily pictures of your outfits a top a parking structure....far too busy...
Here is how i felt about nie nie...i sort of did not like her and her blog and her nice things and cute style and stuff...her stuff.!!!!.. Here I am, resentful to a woman who is burned over 80% of her body..I don't even know her...well, i met her a few times-at the neilsons- but I don't know her.I am jealous of her. well her stuff. that is just plain wicked...coveting.. totally breaking a commandment. then I said- i will look for good in all things like she does...trying to be positive- cause let's face it- I cannot not check her blog every morning! It did not go well- i just go there to see the cute things (and to realize more that I'm not in style- or to tell myself- if you don't match you are in style- so stop matching!!! ha ha! I really like her stuff.
So... i hope when I get a camera, and my house together I can take some cute pictures and write some witty stuff and people will read my blog and wish they were more like me (like i do with other people's blogs)- but let's face it...i'm not well read and people probably look at my blog and say "well...at least I'm better than her!" Ha ha
Heidi, blogs in general do have the effect of comparing one's self to the blog writer. When I was a working mom blogs had the effect of deluding me into the belief that I would be happier as a stay at home mom. Happier like the women I read about. But when I read that bit in Screwtape Letters, especially the part about finding value in everything, I felt like the fog had been lifted. Though my problem now is keeping that way. I have to make a conscience effort to think "I value her talents and am happy that she has them, and I am happy for my own talents and disposition". Even to the point of "taking pictures of yourself to promote flattering fashion has it's place. However, and to your point, there is also value and a need for a person like me. If for no other reason than to shout "oh son of a bitch" when I see my fashionable friend has just accidentally smashed her camera to bits and has too much decorum to swear when it is appropriate.
ugh, I typed that last comment on my phone and fat finger took over the spelling and grammar
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