Beamer Bummer

Dear Blue Car,

I've been calling you "the blue car" for years so I don't sound snooty.  You are a BMW and you and I are over.  Did you notice me packing up the contents I left in your trunk and glove compartment this morning?  That was me telling you "it's over".  It was strange going through all of that memorabilia.  I found a random piece of note paper that said only "Spagett" in my handwriting. I thought that was weird.  I cursed the 6-disc CD changer located in the trunk and how stupid and outdated that feature is now. The thing is, you are sort of like having a bad boyfriend who is a user and an abuser.  We bought you before we had kids before we realized a family car should be first of all roomy, secondly littered with deep and secure cup holders (Bill Byrson be damned), and third reliable.

You are none of the above.

I hate you.

Yesterday while driving to work some small part of you (resembling a print cartridge) melted and sent the toxic smoke of a chemical burn into my lungs, hair, clothes and car seats. Not to mention the smoke filled the inside of the car completely and made it impossible to see. It would have been nice to have be able to roll down a window at a time like that, you know, driving while blinded with white smoke, but unfortunately all of your cussing windows are broken.  I settled on opening the sun roof, knowing that it would take myself and my husband working together as a team to close the sun roof again. My co-workers told me they could smell it when I walked in the office.

I thought about a pivotal part of the movie Bridesmaids while I was clearing out my gear, it was the part when Annie says she "rather die out here then spend another 30 minutes with you" to whatever Jon Hamm's character was named.  Just like Annie, I think I'd rather walk and just like Jon, there's no way you'd last 30 minutes.  Oh and in case you are confused by this reference Blue Car, Bridesmaids is a movie, I got the DVD for my birthday, but then again you wouldn't know what a DVD is would you, you have a stupid wood panel that hides the cassette tape deck.  Ugh, you are the worst.